meditation

This musing is a reaction to an article about another blogger’s journey with vipasana mediation. 10 days of doing nothing but sitting 12 hours straight, in an attempt to still one’s mind. As a blogger and writer the whole purpose of stilling one’s mind is beyond me. I am like the NASA probe searching for a thought wave, constantly on the prowl for some illuminating thought that I can transcribe into words. My mind is a podium for unceasing debate, in the words of René Descartes,

I think therefore I am.

Even as I sleep my mind is in constant chatter, my dreams are more tangled than Shakespeare’s web of lies. I am always on the Internet absorbing news, ideas, latest research, discoveries and constantly analysing theories. I relish religious discourses where I can logically defend my faith. I am constantly scouring anti-Catholic sites, assimilating all their objections and I try to find valid answers to all their contentions. If there is a point that I cannot clarify then I thrash it out mentally and devour religious literature until I find the answer. Offcourse, all this goes on internally, I never voice my opinions publicly, for me religion is a very personal matter and not for public debate, which brings me to my point, I love to think.

Unfortunately there are days, mostly when I am on a zero sugar and low carb diet when my mind just goes blank. These periods that I dub as writer’s block which are more like thinker’s block are the most boring and depressing episodes of my life. No thoughts, no emotions, no adrenaline, no reaction, just empty space, floating through a void; most depressing. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be in that state! It’s like dying; at least it’s for me.

Oh the joy to be alive, to feel emotions that cause your heart to pound, the blood to rush into your veins, to experience your head throb with anger or excitement. Why would anyone want to give all that away, even for a nanosecond? As a religious person I know that there are times one should be still and listen to the Lord, but for me that is usually when fear or trouble crowd my existence, which is very rarely. Usually I am in an animated discourse with the Lord about this and that, or I am usually bugging him for an answer or just in awe of him. Stillness is not a prominent feature of my religious life and the Lord hasn’t led me to doubt my journey.

As I watch my 4-½ year old, run wildly around the house chasing an imaginary animal, whilst screaming at the top of his voice, I can only smile and say, “yeah, he takes after me!”

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About Antonia Rapheal

An aspiring writer, blogger, PR professional & mother of three. I blog on life, love, God, family, kids and everything in between!

8 responses »

  1. PBScott says:

    I enjoyed the post. I have done some meditating, but never for longer than ten minutes. There are two forms of meditation, full mind, where you escape purely into your thoughts, and empty mind where you try and forget things, this is the one you seem to have written about here.

    I am not a massive proponent to meditation, and did not like the empty mind very much, but when waiting in line or for a bus or train or anything else, full mind meditation can be very rewarding, and for me it has lead to many a blog post.

  2. Uzoma says:

    Another wonderful post. I think my mind is like a turbulent sea–always active. Ideas come and go. Some of them seep into my dreams. Ha! One of my stories stems from a colorful dream.

    I like your stand on religious issues and as a fellow Catholic are happy you are very willing to evaluate all religious issues. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope to see you around again.

    • Hey Uzo!
      Most of my inspirations are from my dreams, I guess great minds think alike? :) Christianity is all about loving your neighbour, not just fellow christians. How can you love if you don’t even try to understand? It saddens me to think that so many christians, forget our basic commandments from God himself, Judge not and ye shall not be judged, I desire mercy not sacrifice….
      lets spread the love, light and the truth.
      God bless!

  3. I agree with Antonia. My mind never stops. I tried to meditate, but couldn’t tame the monkey mind. I don’t have a problem focusing on the task at hand. I can tune out extraneous thoughts and sounds if needed. Maybe I am just weird, but my calm comes from my passion, speaking, reading and writing.

  4. shafeeqhamza says:

    Ha ha! I really enjoyed your article!

    I guess you missed a thread in the yoga dialogues… meditation is supposed to help you increase your concentration. With concentration you can focus on a mildly intelligent thought without the mind flitting away to the “oh! my neighbours are baking again.” and achieve nirvana with a fantastic well thought out article in 1 hour v/s 3 hours.

    Take pics and videos of your 4 1/2 year old for later… they’re the most enjoyable at this age, aren’t they?

    • Yeah! you’re right, it is supposed to help increase your concentration but I don’t have a problem with that as I can get completely ‘lost’ on a topic and I hate to brag but I have mastered the art of doing things in half time. No, it wasn’t mediation but motherhood! Try having three kids, with different tastes, Temperaments and timings.. you learn pretty quick to manage time, resources and use all your five senses, heck, after a while you develop a sixth sense! :)

Let me know what you think, after all we think therefore we are.. alive?

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