There are times when I feel my mind will just explode, the amount of information available makes me feel that this life might not serve me long enough just to soak in the wisdom and the ingenuity, let alone assimilate and translate all that I have learned into actionable knowledge. On the flip side, I find it harder and harder to make simple conversation, I invariably end up talking about some new theory, insight or process that makes my companion or sounding board, disconnect.
Already my children choose not to ask me anything because my explanations are never simple. As my 10-year-old autistic son loudly laments, he still hasn’t given up on me, “Can’t you just give me a yes or a no?”
But that is the complexity of life, there is no simple answer, the bible tried to simplify the big bang, evolution, and the purpose of life, look at the criticisms it has heaped. When my children were little and asked where did we come from, the story of an angle placing them in my womb and them ‘popping’ out in the hospital sufficed. As they grow older and into their own biology, obviously the answer will need ‘extra details’. They will assess all that they hear armed with that innate knowledge of knowing their own physicality to determine truth from false. Another important factor will be their filters and their need to conform to an identity that will determine the extent of truth they will accept.
Will they view their sexuality as sacred, experimental, pleasurable or merely biology will all depend on the social construct they grow up in, the information available, the personalities that dominate their influence etc.
So it translates into human consciousness, what paradigms we accept depends so much on our environment that it makes me spend days into contemplations of ‘what if?’ As we grow into our vocabulary of cosmic evolution and the creation of life, we discover the immutable pattern of the universe. Like a watermark, the structure of the universe is displayed in every aspect of existence. The ability to recognize it, however, depends on our state of evolution of our consciousness. True enlightenment I have discovered borders on the line of madness, every evolved soul that has escaped the confines of a mental institution is a giggling, crazy mess.
It bothers me greatly that our ability to mutate truth into a form that fits into our model of reality is so rampant. The Jungian archetypes, those biological instinctive imprints of the collective unconscious, binds and hence limits our understanding of the universe. It is only through our transgression of eradicating the limiting biology of our existence that we can even begin to grasp notes in the song of the universe. An offense because the sole purpose of our existence is to live and make sense of our physical world in relation to the ethereal. A cosmic conscious dance between the soul, the body and the mind in the heart of creation.
The irony that we need to go within to understand the world outside had never been lost on me. In order to hear the music of the cosmos the need to quieten the noise within is most intriguing. Was the noise installed on purpose so that we may not hear the music that makes us abandon the world we are lost in? So when we silence the noise are we solving a puzzle or terminating the game?
Is the purpose to overcome the distractions, hurdles, problems to arrive at the finish line or did we just walk out of the amusement park that we had spent all that money to get into in the first place?
Is Time the result of the distance between point A and B, the by-product of the distance traveled? Or is Time the memory of an event, a marker of what was, is and will be? So when we say I’m running out of time, what is it the distance or the memory?
Are we in a dream or are we having a dream within a dream and are we supposed to wake up or enjoy the rest?
Musings of Antonia Rapheal 