Perfection is Ugly!

You knew
You knew (Photo credit: James Broad)

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No, that’s not a typo, it reads exactly as it should. Beauty is imperfect, natural and spontaneous; everything else is just the opposite. Perfection comes out of an assembly line from a lifeless machine, each product exactly like it’s predecessor. A masterpiece is unique, has soul, its flaws make it even more valuable and it doesn’t get better than a human being.
Show me anyone and I can point out a million faults but what always intrigues me are the quirks. As a writer I am always seeking out the nuances that distinguish a character, my heroes are always the least brave and the dysfunctional. The only common trait they have is the willingness to learn from their mistakes.
It was probably a self-absorbed writer who remarked that creative people are like God, breathing life into ideas and colours. As lofty as the comment is you can’t deny that artists share the mindset of God. We celebrate the flawed, the broken, the lonely, the meek and the humble. There is always so much depth in the songs of the broken hearted and the mirth of a man well versed with misfortune is heart warming, not to mention inspiring.
So what’s with the fascination with perfection that has got the world all twisted? Why does beautiful only mean flawless? When did our definitions get so limited and shallow? Why should handsome only mean muscles and a defined jawline? When did acne which meant that you are now officially a teenager, become a symbol of shame? Freckles used to mean cute but now a concealer promises to hide it. People on the heavier side used to be known as jolly and large hearted, today even Santa is a size zero. When did we get so insecure that being natural meant foundation, lip-gloss and mascara?
The human mind and heart are instinctively tuned to beauty, the real kind. All the bright colours, the glossy lips, the darkened eyebrows and the bronzed cheekbones are so perfect that after a while they begin to look ugly. Have you ever had a friend who always wore glasses and then switched to contacts? Do you remember seeing them for the first time and remarking that they looked different and that you liked them better with spectacles? I have two beautiful little angels and they love to play with my makeup, they climb on chairs, reach for my lipstick, colour themselves silly and then run to me asking, pretty?
No, a compassionate heart, a genuine smile, a hearty laugh, kind words straight from the heart, soulful eyes; these are the things that are pretty and warm my soul. Masking all that with paint in a bid to be perfect is what kills the human spirit. I am not against makeup, in fact I love to experiment but I can step out with out any on and not feel uncomfortable. I apply makeup because I like it and not because I am defined by it. It saddens me that there are some women who are uncomfortable in their own skin. Who told them that they are not beautiful or that beauty only means looking perfect, all the time, and every time? Like a wise person once said, you maybe one among a million but for that special someone you are one in a million. That person will find you beautiful even when your hair goes grey and wrinkles cover you entirely, because beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder. Try to remember that when you look into the mirror next time.

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why I said, “I do!’ and still mean it.

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I had forgotten the reasons why I decided to get married and have a family of my own. These last few days, since my husband has been off on a business trip leaving me alone in my big bed, I remembered why. I didn’t like the thought of returning home to an empty room, an empty bed and most importantly an empty life. Parents, siblings and friends are a good distraction and fill most of the hours in your day but it’s when you shut the doors, and crawl into bed that you realise why God decided, ‘it wasn’t good for man to be alone.’
I had a fun filled life, as cabin crew I travelled the world free of charge and with strong family ties I always had weekends and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries to spend with people who mattered. My crazy bunch of girls/women and divas filled my day and sometimes until the wee hours of the morning with laughter, giggles, heart-warming moments and just raw girly fun.
As fulfilling and exciting the times were, eventually everyone retrieved into their own personal lives; boyfriends gave way to husbands, dirty nappies and the joys of motherhood-replaced pubbing & clubbing. Parents and siblings were always a permanent fixture but I was too emotionally attached to them and then I took a look at someone who I was destined to become in another 10 years.
She was attractive, confident, successful but lonely. A cabin crew trainer, looked much younger than her age; all those sleepless nights with a colicky baby really adds to those facial wrinkles! Confident, well dressed, successful but seriously lonely! The highlight of her days was spending time with her nephews & nieces. Her life had the ‘Always the bridesmaid never the bride’ sort of a theme that had lost its initial glamour. Every handsome man she dated was happily married and instead of romantic cards she received invitations to baby showers and weddings. The only guys who showed interest were the Casanovas who just looking for a chase or the straying husband looking for some excitement.
Every time she saw a happy couple she reminisced about that special one she let go off because she was too scared of loosing her independence getting stuck in a monotonous life full of nappies, tantrums and missed opportunities. Men are never faithful she often told herself, after all cabin crew are the preferred target for straying married men who often travel for business for long periods. (Note to self, need to call hubby and remind him how much I love him!)
I know many women who prefer casual flings as opposed to marriage and want a life that isn’t bogged down with family, children, in-laws and a demanding husband; I am not that woman. As much as I cringe and moan about how annoying it is to wake up in the morning to loud wails of, “Momma!” or 3am cries form a toddler who has wet her bed, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Wait a sec; I did trade it for the world! cryin
You know what? I’d do it again in a heartbeat! I have been to the Sydney harbour bridge and I have seen the Sydney opera house many times but to see it through the eyes of my 4 ½ year old, to absorb all that wonder and amazement; there are some things that money just can’t buy. Some things are just priceless and free, occupational perks of being a mom to three kids all below the age of 5!
I have been to exotic locales, sipping ice tea while starring into the cerulean Adriatic Sea but nothing beats three mucky kids splashing water and mud at each other on a hot Aussie summer. Giggling, did I mention that infectious, innocent, pulling at your heartstrings giggling? The one that makes you smile and laugh without your knowing? The one that starts with your lips goes all the way to your eyes and warms your heart? Priceless!